The truth was, learning how to nurse when you are somehow surviving on about 2 hours of sleep per day is nearly impossible. But I didn't give up, I was being squeezed and prodded, while Blake was being moved into various positions to see if he would latch better. He seemed to like the football hold, which I thought was funny only because I can count on my hands the number of times I have actually held a real football. He was my little football now.
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| Baby football |
We had a bumpy ride to say the least, but along the way, I always thought it would've been great if someone just told me the truth about breastfeeding. No one wants to tell you the truth, and I suspect its because they think they'll scare you out of even trying it. I went into the whole nursing situation completely blind. If only I had a list of things no one wants to tell you...
1. Your milk will come in, and it will hurt more than childbirth
My milk came in the night we had to leave Blake in the hospital while he was being treated for jaundice. I was already an emotional monster, but not being able to touch my breasts or even put my arms down along the side of my body was a whole other story. My entire body was in pain, and this was just the last thing I wanted to feel. I texted all the mommies I knew to see what the heck was happening, and how to relieve it. Since Blake wasn't there to take the milk, I had to hand-express what I could in the shower, all while cringing and crying in mind-boggling pain. Yep, no one told me about this, not even the discharge nurse. Shame on her.
2. You feel contractions all over again during feeds
It took a few days before Blake and I got the hang of it. Our first "good feed" I was completely perplexed. Why was I having contractions? Blake is no longer in my stomach. This seemed strange. Little did I know that those contractions are your uterus trying to go back to its original size.
3. Your nipples increase in size and get darker
I knew nursing would make your boobs a few sizes bigger, but I didn't anticipate the change to the nipple region. I read that your body naturally changes the size and color to help the baby find it since their eye sight isn't that great at birth. I just love how the female body works, really an amazing thing. But the nipples...c'mon! Can't we catch a break?
4. Breastmilk doesn't keep the baby full as long like formula
I was tempted to switch to formula after realizing that my milk was not keeping Blake full. I heard that formula fed babies slept longer, and after a month of being sleep-deprived and crying everyday, I was almost ready to throw in the towel. I started pumping so that I could let daddy take on some of the feeding responsibilities, and things started to look better from there.
5. The more you feed, the more milk you produce
You will feel like a milk factory. Just embrace it! A good friend of mine made the picture of me at a milk factory to help cheer me up.
6. Cluster feeding & raw nipples
There were days when Blake would feed every hour. I hunkered down on the couch and caught up on Real Housewives since I knew I wasn't going to be going anywhere those days. The cluster feeds were signals that a growth spurt was coming. We went through about 2-3 rounds of cluster feeds. My nipples were so raw and chapped that sometimes I cringed at the thought of having to feed him.
7. Pumping sucks, its the worst
Pumping allows you to delegate feeds, but the actual act of pumping is terrible. I hated every second of it.
8. Your hair falls out in globs
My hair started falling out in clumps at 3 months post partum. I had no idea this would happen, so I called my OB and she said this was normal. She said once I stop breastfeeding, it will come back. The baby is getting most of your nutrients & vitamins, and as a result, you shed constantly. Blake is 1 year old, and my hair is just now starting to grow back.
9. You don't get your period back for several months
The one great thing about pregnancy and post partum is that you don't have to deal with your period. I mean yes, you get to deal with so many other uncomfortable things, but not tampons or cramps! Well, your first period post partum is pretty awful. If you breastfeed, you wont get it as soon but when you do get it, you are literally bleeding like a victim on Game of Thrones.
You thought bra shopping was tough pre-baby? Its a whole other story after kids. Also, your breasts can be completely different sizes, especially if you tend to favor nursing on one side (which I did). Moral of the story -- time your feeds, and make sure you switch sides halfway thru!
11. You cant undress in front of your baby or else they will think its feeding time
True statement. If you are naked in front if your baby, be ready to nurse or deal with a screaming baby. I took Blake bra shopping with me a few months ago, and that was the least fun shopping trip I have ever had. I vowed that will never happen again.
12. Your baby will try to pull your top off in public
Always be ready to have a wardrobe malfunction. Babies don't care if you flash a nipple to anyone. They want what they want, and there's no stopping them.
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| Nursing Blake at a restaurant on our first road trip. That was certainly a first! |
13. You have to plan your outfits around what can be pulled down the quickest
Getting dressed post partum was struggle enough, but now you have to think about what tops you can actually pull down without ruining the neckline. Nursing tank tops get old very fast.
14. They will bite you once they get teeth
This happens and it hurts like no other. The first time catches you by surprise. Then you know what those chompers are capable of, and end up watching your baby like a hawk.
15. You will miss it when its over
I NEVER ever thought those words would fill my head. Truth is, breastfeeding gets easier over time. The first few months are definitely the hardest because you aren't sleeping or probably eating, and yet you need to nourish your child. As the months go on, you find your rhythm and things just click. I am in the weaning process now, and I cant help but be sad that this stage of our lives together is almost over.
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| After a really good feed! |
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| So glad I didn't give up! |
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